i write habitually as a way to
verbalize my far too complex thoughts which
are always in a web of words, tightly woven in fabric of sentences
that complicate life unnessarily.
and what's up with bestfriends these days? telling me that i should know and think about what i have done wrong. for gawd sake!!! i'm not halobaluyah fortuneteller or some holy shit goddess. so fucking stop blaming and pretending that it's all my fucking fault already and that you have done nothing wrong living in you fake perfect little pathetic life. i'm still a human being if you must know. because i'm tired to giving in every single time, to spent every single penny i had just for your smile. trying my every best to understand the deepest shit you put me through and i never fucking complain. trying to be the clown so that you can laugh when you frown no matter how much it hurts t embarrass myself and being super stupid to apologize even if its not my bloody fucking fault because i know how egoist you've been. and it doesn't matter t you because its not enough isn't it?. untill my death bed, its still not enough for me to deserve a friend like you. and what happens to "i'm always here no matter what."
