msfido
dido

i write habitually as a way to verbalize my far too complex thoughts which are always in a web of words, tightly woven in fabric of sentences that complicate life unnessarily.

speak my thoughts.
Friday, April 04, 2008 4/04/2008 01:08:00 AM a very nice hot cup of tea with brown sugar together. i'm rocking my chair sitting in front of the computer listening to 98.7 soothing sounds , burning the time for tonight. baby just called minutes ago. He was awaken for thinking too much of that orangee mercury boot he longing for. tsk,tsk. i know you have many games lining up. patients is virtue.we will get it soon kaaaaaaay. urgh this brings me to a one useless gf, i am.

though he never did ask from me. i feel like buying for yoooooooou. this is where the importance of work comes in. mom's been bragging about it too. my aunt's been pastoring me to work at Mt.E doing, dialysis. which means i have to undergo 3-4 mths of phlebotomist course than i'am ready. what? school again? nursing line again? urghhh.. don't u people get it already? i hate nursing. i don't wan t become a nurse. nurse is never a yes for me. it's a shitty job which has shifts work and you're paid less for doing too much! i took nursing because of you mom. i know you want what's brings best for me. A 2 yrs of suffering is enough already, definitately.

mommy, u pamper me many.i know, u given me what i wanted. a lisences, a bike, the large amount of samans i 've reckessly getting that you never fail to clear up for me, the everyday clothes which i demand there will never be enough, that endless hp bills you will pay so that i don't end up in jail,that tasmanian polaroid and the never ending list goes on and on and on. i know.

but time is not here yet for me to work. and this is not an excuess. i am lazy mom i admit. but that doesn't mean i am irresponsible. i'm just not ready. in fact i'm just too scared. i know i'm 20, you always have this thinking of it's time i need to grow up. but actually , i do wan t pursue futher in studies. i really do. i'm only 20 mom! i can't believe that my education stops here right here.. like is this for real? i have to work already?

(sigh)...

maybe i'm just too selfish ehh. i almost forgot i have a 13 yr old sister too, growing up. and both my parents are working their shit off day and night just to get our butts t school and become somebody good, somebody responsible. maybe time is over for me. i just don't wan t realise and kept playing dumb all along.

(sigh.. take deeeeeeep breaths).

so Work?i will think about it during the weekends. i think it's time i do good for u, mom.