i write habitually as a way to
verbalize my far too complex thoughts which
are always in a web of words, tightly woven in fabric of sentences
that complicate life unnessarily.
what do you do when you get one of the nicer days but you go back home and realise, it isn't as nice as you'd like it to be? sure, its beyond merry when you go out with two people, your best friend and a pretty awesome buddy, and you laugh so much you wish you could camp out in the middle of town.
but what do you do when you realise what you'd like to have is more than the materialistic wants that you have? what do you do when you realise that you're pretty much being stupid wanting what you can't want but wanting it all at the same time?
this is the problem when choices (as good and beneficial as they are to society) are coupled with an indecisive, fickle, impulsive, and espacially emotional person.
a female person.
this is the problem when you are female and thrown into that particular problem mentioned above. not that it is a problem, just that we're designed to be more sensitive to the things around us. but when you're thrown into that particular problem with the given conditions i've mentioned, it makes it worser. semi-feminists are allowed to rant about their sexuality right?
perhaps i am overthinking like i always do, and i think i am overthinking, which makes it absolutely, undeniably bad.
and you know i'm drained emotionally bad and i am super sensitive these days. and my tears shed that quickly for watever you say even if you don't ever really mean it. like you say, "every little things matter".
it matters to me, because as we know this little little things is going to become very big things if we keep doing and not sharing how one felt.
"my point is this. whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you, was a complete and total moron. because for most people i know not knowing is the worst feeling in the world." - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.
