i write habitually as a way to
verbalize my far too complex thoughts which
are always in a web of words, tightly woven in fabric of sentences
that complicate life unnessarily.
Here I am, trying not to sound jealous, because I really am not. Rather, I am trying to sound reasonable. I am just wondering why is that no clarification or whatsoever was made. I'm assuming that you wouldn't want me to be "hurt" or "suicidal" once I come to know of the dastardly deeds that you're guilty of. Please, I am not attached to you so lovingly like how I used to. By thinking that way, you know, you're flattering yourself. Let's not deny this - He is the guy that inhabit the most secretive realms of a girl's imagination and becomes the cynosure of every eye wherever he goes. Well, look deeper and he becomes WORST THAN A FASHION DISASTER, as if the previous winning traits had completely deserted him.
And for the record, I definitely won't give up my life for you again. I'd rather kill myself over a dead pet cat.
But if I'll ever have to meet you again, facades always come in handy. People depend on it carelessly but if we all look good in it, why not? I'll only shed it when the time is right.
On account that I once died for you, I'll let it go. But whenever I think about it, I get that self-destructive urge! Not because I long for you, you fucking shithead, but because you are already someone I never thought you would be. Now this gives me a bigger reason to detest boys. Someone call a fucking psychiatrist for me, pronto!
Please don't act as if I still like you. Because I don't anymore. You're just another faceless dickhead trying to mess up my life. And you're not cool..so go away. is that too much to ask for?
