speak my thoughts.
Sunday, July 01, 2007 7/01/2007 11:42:00 PM
As it was predicted, Aussie won over S'pore 3-nil.The event brought along star players from the premiere league and i should say S'pore played his best ever.
it could be the very last warning yester night.It was rated all over the city like never before. Luck spare us though. We couldn't risk any more so final decision was made for a sleep over to one's of frends place to conquere the nightmare before the safety lights up for us again tomorrow.
I lie back and closed my eyes. I tried to filter the sounds through my ears so that I won't hear my thoughts, or a Malay pop song on a distant radio, the slight whistle from my breath and soon, it was his heavy breathing getting louder.. as he fell asleep beside me and I tried to wonder what he was dreaming of.And eventually, I too drifted off to sleep, like a five-year-old child, cuddled in the embrace of her daddy.
It could be my unpersistent mood swing to my dismal behaviour, or the lack of a proper meal these past few days, but every time I close my eyes I have the feeling I am falling. Not just tripping over, but free-falling through space. There's a horrible emptiness around me as I flail my arms about, reaching for help and I realize there's no one to catch me at the bottom. Dad hasn't been there and soon, whatever I do, Mum will be gone too. The safety net of my family, friends and munik I love is disintegrating and I am afraid that I'll be responsible for my own loneliness. I'll be crashing towards the same inevitable end, just like everyone else. And because of that, for a moment yesterday, I was afraid to open my eyes from a sleep, in case I find that while they've been closed, my whole life has flashed by and I am lying in my own excrement. All at once, I know what I want - the arms of a family safe around me again.
i write habitually as a way to
verbalize my far too complex thoughts which
are always in a web of words, tightly woven in fabric of sentences
that complicate life unnessarily.
