speak my thoughts.
Sunday, May 13, 2007 5/13/2007 10:33:00 PM
have you ever woke up feeling as though everything you once loved, finally came around to let you down for real? have you ever given in so much to something only to realize in the end that it's for nothing? what do we do when such a person comes our way? what do we see when all this dissappears? what do we do when we're drowned in our own tears eveynight?
well maybe i'm at fault too but hey, we're only human. when the faith appears to be something i've kept believing in despite the falls, i've only come to realise that it's of no use in trying anymore. maybe it's time i told myself that all good things must come to an end one day. i thought i'd never be saying this, but i'm leaving this behind. since i don't deserve the happiness i once had anymore, i might as well fight for it again, this time, on my own. i surrender. i'm putting all that i've known of you behind me. no one said it'll be easy and no one said i'll be okay with this. even if it takes years for me to pull through, i'm still here. i'll be around when you need someone. i'll be around when you realize i'm the one you've been searching for. i'll be here when you finally want to talk about anything at all. but for now i'm done. i'm done being treated the way you treat me. i'm done being trapped in your shadows. i'm done hoping you might change for the better.
all this while, you've been too caught up in your own emotions that you forget about me, my feelings and my presence. you've been overly protective, i don't even know where to turn to anymore. i've been damaged. not only by your hands or words but by your heart and your silence throughout this time when i needed you most. i've been trying to understand your situation especially now that you're a step ahead in life and facing that phase where all guys would one day. but you've taken all of that for granted. you've taken me, for granted.
i write habitually as a way to
verbalize my far too complex thoughts which
are always in a web of words, tightly woven in fabric of sentences
that complicate life unnessarily.
